Your commissioners have been racking their brains trying to come up with ways to give away Nationals baseball tickets this season, and the end result always seems to be either Flip Cup for the tickets or “pick a number between 1 and 10”. Not being the most creative types we’ve borrowed from a superlative category to give them away next week: Best Flair.
We’re not expecting a full 37 pieces, but if you want to win you’re going to have to bring your A game. And if you impress enough people this might help you take home a DC Bocce superlative award and one of our super secretive prizes at the End-of-Season Party. We’ve seen both divisions dabble a bit with chotchkies this season from the festive shirts, custom visors, aviators, personalized beverages, celebrity appearances, giant wieners, to just saying “Aloha!”, but now it’s time to get over the hump and compete with seasons past: There was the human pyramid, the Peroni monument, the gimpy shout out, Porky pirates, Jem, and getting tattooed at Pour House. Point is, we’ve gotta see more than a Panama Jack impersonation to hand these tickets over.
We’ve got 4 tickets for the Tuesday winner and 4 tickets for the Wednesday winner, and all you have to do is impress these fine people (plus Kat, Lauren, and Jamie). Challenge delivered.
We’re not expecting a full 37 pieces, but if you want to win you’re going to have to bring your A game. And if you impress enough people this might help you take home a DC Bocce superlative award and one of our super secretive prizes at the End-of-Season Party. We’ve seen both divisions dabble a bit with chotchkies this season from the festive shirts, custom visors, aviators, personalized beverages, celebrity appearances, giant wieners, to just saying “Aloha!”, but now it’s time to get over the hump and compete with seasons past: There was the human pyramid, the Peroni monument, the gimpy shout out, Porky pirates, Jem, and getting tattooed at Pour House. Point is, we’ve gotta see more than a Panama Jack impersonation to hand these tickets over.
We're not in Kansas anymore!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to suggest that the winners wear their flair to the games they are awarded. Perhaps even go for a shot on the jumbotron.
ReplyDeleteI'd say this would be fun and we should participate, but chances are the d-bags who run the league are just going to give the tickets to their friends anyway. Seriously, the people in the black shirts don't do anything for the league except annoy the people who weren't already friends with them. Ask them for measuring tape? They just tell YOU to go find it. Oh, I'm sorry, WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME AND YOU'RE WALKING AROUND DOING NOTHING. DO YOUR JOB!
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, maybe I'll just wear a black shirt and act like a total jerk and then I'll get the tickets...freaking joke.
Due to the clear lack of observational skill shown by the previous commenter I could write off their post as the most piss-poor attempt at sarcasm ever, but since they sucked in their cojones and wrote in anonymously I’ll assume the rant is genuine. Going off that assumption, let me say that I have only once given baseball tickets away to a person whose name I knew beforehand, and I hand out the tickets both nights almost every week. If you don’t get the tickets it’s because either you don’t come to Pour House, where we give the tickets away, or because your team only has a 1 in 48 chance of winning each week anyway (I know…math can be hard). And some of the people with black shirts are volunteers who have offered to help out in good faith, not because they want to exclude people they aren’t friends with already.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who has a suggestion about how the League might be improved is welcome to come to us—we’re pretty easy to spot and are very approachable. We ask for suggestions every week so clearly we’re open to your ideas. And as a matter of principle this blog isn’t meant to be rigorously edited so free thought is welcomed and encouraged, but if you want to piss on a group of people don’t do it here. And if you want to talk in person try to do so in a manner with less sulking that’s more constructive for everyone.
Screw the anonymous commenter, they couldn’t be more wrong. The girls on Blazing Sweetness won the tickets last week and we make it point not to get to know anybody in bocce, especially the Black Shirts, yo! Ask me Sarah’s name and I tell you Rachael; and still they managed the Nationals Tickets.
ReplyDelete