Welcome to the 2008 Summer Season! We all love bocce, really, but we love each other as well, so the Commishes put their heads together and figured out a way for us to spend one more beer-logged, sun drenched, outdoor adventure together . . . . TUBING!!!!!!!!!
I offer this blog as a guide to newbies and novices of tubing, as well as a reminder to experienced floaters.
Important Facts:
1. We will leave without you if you are late arriving or late getting off the river, so don't do that.
2. Do not miss the opportunity to have a breakfast cocktail. . . on the bus. Bring your preferred bevies or enjoy the League's Sponsors' gifts.
3. Bring a hard cooler -- to hold LOTS OF WATER -- we do NOT recommend drinking from the Shenandoah, as both we, as well as a few hundred other townies will be relieving themselves in the river.
4. Bring a rope -- to tie up the hotties you pilage from your rival river pirates -- or to tie yourself to your cooler and friends
5. Bring Sunscreen -- We will send you to the nearest medical facility in WEST VIRGINIA before we will bring your leathery, sun-sick butt back on the bus with us.
6. Wear water shoes -- These are shoes that secure to your feet, not flip-flops, sandals, or thongs (as they call them overseas). Old sneakers, or those awesome mesh shoes you can buy at Walmart are good options.
7. Cut-off jean shorts are encouraged.
8. Bring some lunch, it helps soak up whatever you are imbibing in the hot sun.
9. CANS of beer may be enjoyed on the River. They may NOT (under any circumstances) be enjoyed at the Tubing Site -- Butts Tubes, or on any solid ground along the river. I offer personal insight here. 75% of your Commishes have been caught by the Park Police and FINED for drinking tasty alcoholic beverages on dry land after tubing. DO NOT DO THIS. It will cost you money, and possibly a night in jail in WEST VIRGINIA. We do not expect you to get back on the bus sober, just please observe the no drinking while not on the river rule.
10. If you hear Banjoes, paddle faster.
Okay, with all of that to digest, there are some obviously great reasons to go tubing. These mostly involve reasonably responsible, adult-type people, imbibing too much and making great decisions. As a veteran of the tubing bus trip, some highlights, in addition to getting caught drinking by the park police include, the bus trip member who got lucky on the river, and forgot to tell his friends he was getting a ride back with his new hottie friend. There are great opportunities to meet people, if you stop to jump off of some rocks; great chances to check out your bocce crush in a bathing suit; plenty of "I want to Piss on You" jokes.
I can't wait to see everyone out on the river in their jean shorts, watershoes, and sexy-hot bathing suits, with fashionable matching coozies!
I offer this blog as a guide to newbies and novices of tubing, as well as a reminder to experienced floaters.
Important Facts:
1. We will leave without you if you are late arriving or late getting off the river, so don't do that.
2. Do not miss the opportunity to have a breakfast cocktail. . . on the bus. Bring your preferred bevies or enjoy the League's Sponsors' gifts.
3. Bring a hard cooler -- to hold LOTS OF WATER -- we do NOT recommend drinking from the Shenandoah, as both we, as well as a few hundred other townies will be relieving themselves in the river.
4. Bring a rope -- to tie up the hotties you pilage from your rival river pirates -- or to tie yourself to your cooler and friends
5. Bring Sunscreen -- We will send you to the nearest medical facility in WEST VIRGINIA before we will bring your leathery, sun-sick butt back on the bus with us.
6. Wear water shoes -- These are shoes that secure to your feet, not flip-flops, sandals, or thongs (as they call them overseas). Old sneakers, or those awesome mesh shoes you can buy at Walmart are good options.
7. Cut-off jean shorts are encouraged.
8. Bring some lunch, it helps soak up whatever you are imbibing in the hot sun.
9. CANS of beer may be enjoyed on the River. They may NOT (under any circumstances) be enjoyed at the Tubing Site -- Butts Tubes, or on any solid ground along the river. I offer personal insight here. 75% of your Commishes have been caught by the Park Police and FINED for drinking tasty alcoholic beverages on dry land after tubing. DO NOT DO THIS. It will cost you money, and possibly a night in jail in WEST VIRGINIA. We do not expect you to get back on the bus sober, just please observe the no drinking while not on the river rule.
10. If you hear Banjoes, paddle faster.
Okay, with all of that to digest, there are some obviously great reasons to go tubing. These mostly involve reasonably responsible, adult-type people, imbibing too much and making great decisions. As a veteran of the tubing bus trip, some highlights, in addition to getting caught drinking by the park police include, the bus trip member who got lucky on the river, and forgot to tell his friends he was getting a ride back with his new hottie friend. There are great opportunities to meet people, if you stop to jump off of some rocks; great chances to check out your bocce crush in a bathing suit; plenty of "I want to Piss on You" jokes.
I can't wait to see everyone out on the river in their jean shorts, watershoes, and sexy-hot bathing suits, with fashionable matching coozies!
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