The Final Four
More important than our Final Four loss to DC Clap is the story of how we got there: playoff victories over #39 Destiny's Pants, #7 Boccelism, #42 Invasion of the Bocce Snatchers, and, in particular, an Elite Eight victory over #2 Spacebonk.
The match against Spacebonk will go down as perhaps the greatest ending in sports history. As the huge underdog, The Greatest and Best Team in the World stayed close early and then unleashed an unprecedented 11 straight points over Spacebonk, who was clearly not mentally prepared to handle the mountain of expectations and the pressure of a #2 ranking. However, the pendulum always swings back, and Spacebonk gathered their composure, rattling off 7 points to trail by the slimmest of margins, 15-14. From there, The Greatest and Best Team in the World relied not on skill or determination but pure and simple luck to carry them to victory. On the final throw of the final frame, Spacebonk's sharpshooter knocked their own ball out of position--a ball that would have been their winning point--and knocked our ball next to the palina to give us the winning point. The Greatest and Best Team in the World joined together in sweet euphoria. One of member of Spacebonk spontaneously combusted, and the two remaining members have not been seen in public since. It was a wonderful moment in the world of sports.
More important than all of our playoff victories is the $100 that will be donated in our name toGreater DC Cares, the leading coordinator of volunteering and business philanthropy in the Washington DC region.
More important than all of this talk of winning, spontaneously combusting opposition, and charitable giving is the unity of friendship and loyalty that our team fostered through the rigor of the summer DC Bocce League. Though we did not take home the champsionship trophy, we will return next year with the same sparkling vigor and hyperbolic lexicon that you know and have probably been offended by.
The Beast, The Captain, The Closer, The Eye, Jennufine, and one other individual who has not passed our nickname vetting process. Together, we are The Greatest and Best Team in the World!!
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