Hidden Talent in the League

I'm sure that many of our league members are accomplished, successful individuals off the bocce field, and off the flip cup table. Sometimes, though, it takes a lot of Peroni, and a late Tuesday night to bring out truly hidden talent.

There are a number of us hoping this morning that the Pour House will not be forced to change flip cup table after last night's mini art exhibition there. In the event that the table has not been painted or removed, Wednesday ballers should keep their eyes out for Garfield, the Jesus Fish, and some other ambiguous, but hilarious illustrations from the late night Tuesday crowd.

Evidence of Beer Fairy at Garfield Park

Best bocce development ever. I wondered away from the bocce staging area to give out 15 minute warnings to the 6:30 teams, and when I came back from getting 7:30 games running, there was a mysterious blue cup full of tasty beverage placed carefully next to the pile of commish belongings. Was this beer meant for me? Was I perhaps stealing someone else's beer if I picked it up? Was it even beer to begin with? Only one way to find out. Drink it.

I survived drinking the mystery beer unscathed. I believe that I have been blessed by the Beer Fairy of Garfield Park. I am just not sure why it's taken so long for the fairy to find me.

Hark, Wednesday Sick-Day Season is upon us!

What a glorious evening this has been! Tis unfortunate that our team is not quite in mid-season form as of yet, but we shall shake off this loss like a wet puppy shakes the water off its coat and have a magnificent season filled with great match successes and greater friendships. Losses are no matter this pristine Spring night. There is no better occasion for a stroll through charming Capitol Hill...

Behold, The Pour House is before me! I shall relish this premier Bocce social gathering of 2008. Ah, I am but a set of stairs from enjoying chilled fermented beverages with a grand melange of good friends old, new, and yet to be made...

Wow, what a vibrant room this is, time to order a delicious Peroni from the friendly barkeep and get my bon vivant on, ho ho ho...

Man, this Peroni tastes great - nice and light but with ample flavor. Whoa, that's a pretty sweet looking game of flip-cup going on over there. I might have to get into that myself in a little bit. Whoops, I guess I need some more beer...

GO CAPS, PHHH-PHUCK ALL THE PHAIR-WEATHER PHILADELPHIA PHLYER PHANS! Double fisting rules. This way I can spend like TWICE as much of my night drinking and not having to go to the bar to get another beer. I wish I had one more arm. Triple fisting...that would be DA BOMB. Sweet, this song is awesome. Whooo! Damn, those Miller Lite girls are looking HOT. That one there, she would make a great stripper. I should go drop some game on her, like tell her how hot she is. She'd like that. But I gotta go take a leak first...

Hey, who wants to do some shots?! What do you mean, you've "had enough"? Come on, you don't look that drunk to me. Oh, you gotta work tomorrow. Well la-di-da, Mr. Employed. Take this Jager like a man! YEAH!!! These girls are really looking GOOD. The next piss I take, I'm just going to stand way back from the urinal when I'm drainin' the snake so all of them can check me out through the wide-open door. They'd all like that. Sometimes you've got to just put yourself out there...

This is bullshit, I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not even drunk, dude. Where's Stevie? STEVIE, HELP, this guy's saying I gotta go. TOMMY, HELP! Hey, stop that - you're not doing you're job right. Haven't you ever seen Road House? Rule #3: Be Nice. BEEE NICCCE, jerk! Who do you think you're pushing around. I'm gonna spend a LOT of money in here, and...

An Introduction

To kick off the 2008 Bocce year, I thought a little refresher might be in order. I am the black sheep of the black shirts. As a founding member, those who have been around since the inaugural season give my black shirt the street cred it deserves. Some of those who played last season were a bit skeptical. To be fair, I had to take a sabbatical for the Summer seasons of 2005, and 2006 to attend to out of state business, namely grad school. (To gansie: perhaps some of your long lost teammates will get it straight and return home like prodigal children.) Add to my absences of two summers, my missing the Captain's Meetings this season, and I know I am in for an uphill battle.

Here are the relevant details about this delinquent and devilish Commish:
Name: Rachael
Shirt: Black
Address: On the Hill (only remaining Hill resident of the Bocce Board, and no excuses for not closing down the Pour House)
Dislikes: 7:30 teams who linger, preventing me from getting to the PH
Notable Bocce History: Drinking light-weight league members into taking their pants off

I look forward to seeing all of you at Garfield and the Pour House Tuesday AND Wednesday. (Note -- I'm not Sarah D in the picture below)

Two Adjectives Make It Super Cool

Forget the laughable two wrongs don’t make a right and forget the contrary double negatives make a positive. All that will be positively right will come from the enduring constitution of two astounding team’s colossal composition. Two crusading teams will get the paramount match-up of this challenging season. Blazing Sweetness takes on Wild Awesome!!!! Consecutive adjectives together as successful nouns modifying the way magnificent bocce will ever be played again.

Regardless, shortly after the scheduling of this match, the word “awesome” became dead to me and I have since ordered all new business cards. That’s fine. They can have awesome but they will not get this: As the sun descends next Tuesday and the temperature dip, over the sounds of tape measures whipping back to its homes followed by cheers and the opposite, the last ball will be tossed. Both teams will summarily walk off the field leaving behind a boundary of orange cones like some sort of chalk-line marking the fallen Hector by Achilles’ hand. Few greater battles could compare. Each team will make its way to the Poor House. One team probably sooner than the other. I’ll assume the losing team will be a bit faster to the bar. Hopefully the winning team will be sure to keep its distance. Wild Awesome will not get our camaraderie.

I am not so simply stating this, division rivals. Ohio State/Michigan, Knicks/Heat, Yankees/MLB. I want to dig up a pistachio colored t-shirt in the park where I play bocce down the street from my place. I’m sure we have plenty of friends. But I could certainly use a rivalry. I can’t predict the future. I might complete Zelda II: The Adventure of Link. Bocce could be played in the sky over floating courts. Wild Awesome could end up in Oklahoma City. Which ever it may be let this rivalry grow, and let all the rage and abhorrence that comes with it build.

If you don’t find this match tantamount to the precipice of sheer magnificence; it will at least be the match of the most unfortunate t-shirt colors: pistachio versus lime.

Good luck to all the teams, especially Just Another Bocce On My Bedpost and Garbage Plates Heart Pantalones – some of us hail from Rochester, NY.

You: small, white, bald; Me: larger, red and ready for some action

In this transient of cities -- friends, coworkers, hooks-ups -- come and go with every passing law school submission. And not only does this mean chaos for groups houses and work teams, but it can also wreak havoc for bocce.

My first bocce team consisted solely of my current-at-the-time co-workers. We all worked in Eastern Market and thought it'd be fun to try it out (well, after we got over the initial - what is bocce and is this less dorky than kickball) and especially because we didn't have to travel very far to either the courts or Pour House. And of course, we had a fucking blast. Sometimes we even pre-gamed at our office by pouring tallboys into coffee mugs. I wish I was lying.

But anyway, by only season 2 one of our teammates, the bastard, decided that his recreational rugby team was more important than palina throwing, so we needed a substitution.

And that's how it's been for the last, oh, five seasons. It's sad of course. We've lost teammates to campaigns, grad school, New York City...but we've always found new friends of friends of roommates of hookups of friends to take part in our Tuesday night debauchery.

But this year, as only three original members remained, we wanted to try something a bit different.

We always have a mix of singles and couples; and for those ready-to-pounce teammates, we try to scout for new talent: weighing looks (or beer drinking ability) over pure athletics. It's only fair. And in that spirit, we had the brilliant idea to enlist Craigs List to help us find a new teammate.

We'd write up an absurd ad, soliciting a cute boy/girl that can leave work at 5 on Tuesdays and can chug a tallboy by the time it takes to stake a flag at the palina. Or some other juvenile way to equate sexual innuendo with beer and bocce balls. Unfortunately, our captain vetoed the idea so we never got around to tapping CL.

Maybe next year.

--gansie

Peroni Tapping Party this Wednesday!

Just a reminder that the last party of the pre-season kicks off this Wednesday at 6:30pm as we gather at the Pour House to tap the first keg of Peroni EVER for DC Bocce. You read right folks: Peroni will now be available on tap for DC Bocce every night at the Pour House, so the days of drinking them out of stock should be behind us. And if that's not enticing enough, the first 100 drafts are free! So make sure to stop by Wednesday and feel free to invite your friends.